Totheface, totheface!

28 12 2009

Currently Listening to: Fashawn – Boy Meets World

Yeah.  Who woulda thunk that a video game would be the thing to get me out of my funk?  Or maybe its because I’m in love with a Swedish man’s voice.  I haven’t been this happy in awhile.  Plus I’m talking with the one and only Amber Ariate right now and I remember this thing that happened about 2 months ago that puts this whole thing in better perspective.

Whatup world,  I’ve missed you.  Come say hello, especially if you haven’t seen me in months/years.





To Watch “Avatar”

26 12 2009

Currently Listening to: Cool Kids – BBQ Wings feat. Boldy James

“One more question Mr. Cameron: was the sinking of the ship an attempt to foreshadow the forthcoming sinking of the tech-market in 2000?”

“Uhhhh…. No.  Actually, I just wanted to make young girls cry… Can I get some of the Sour Patch Kids, please?”

That scene in Entourage has always stuck with me… It’s supposed to reflect how society views his work… looking for metaphors and symbolism, and his own counter intuitive interpretation of it.  I think that’s why I respect him so much, of course.. on top of the fact that he’s probably, commercially, the most successful director in modern film history.  Yet, the quote doesn’t reflect the drive of the man, his vibrant imagination, and his incessant need for perfection.  Apparently, he drives people insane, just ask Kate Winslet, but his passion rubs off onto those he works with see: Sigourney Weaver or Ahnold.  I guess he’s like David Fincher… with a 12 year old’s imagination.

Now to be honest, I’m not a huge fan of some of his earlier works.  I don’t find Terminator, Abyss, or Aliens to be inspirational or moving, and they certainly seem to be crowd-pleasers and nothing else.  Titanic is good, and its commercial and critical success is well deserved.. It’s just not my cup of tea.  But Avatar is, quite simply, my shit.

It’s the perennial retelling of the hero’s journey, simplified nonetheless, with the unassuming war veteran Jake Sully,  who because of injury is the weakest, and arguably most useless, person in the entire base.  Recruited because of the untimely death of his brother, Jake becomes the replacement in a project with fortunes invested.  Through this connection, he is able to transport his consciousness from his crippled and weakened body into the body of a Na’vi and thus jump start the attempt of a private corporation to peacefully negotiate the removal of the natives in order to access a huge source of energy cleverly named “unobtainium”.  Acting as both a negotiator and a spy, Jake’s original intentions support mankind’s need for energy, but his allegiance slowly shift toward the Na’vi and their way of life leading towards a violent conflict between humans and natives.

It really is a stellar work.  Right when the denouement hit, I was already asking myself if that was my favorite movie of all time.  Sure it was predictable or cheesy with some minor plot holes… but what movie of this proportion doesn’t?  And okay, the good was too good and the evil wasn’t evil enough, but could you see it any other way?  And at times the characters seemed irrational and bipolar, but it was realistic, in that I wouldn’t approach the situation any differently if I were Neytiri.  That’s not the point, Cameron and his cohorts successfully transported me into a magical world; for near three hours I was on Pandora and even then it seemed too short.  Everything seemed to work, from the actors to the setting.  Usually you can tell when an actor was acting, their lines go through filters and discomfort, but I didn’t see Jake Sully as Sam Worthington playing a character — to me he was Jake Sully.  The actors were comfortable in their roles, and seemed as if they were playing themselves.  I see it not so much a directing genius as much as it’s casting genius.  The characters are understandable, motivated, and real.  I won’t even comment on the CGI,  it wouldn’t do it justice but I will say that much of the technology and environment reminded me of FF: Spirits Within and FFX. From beginning to end, I had this ridiculous grin on my face, the one employed by the 12 year old child in me.  I couldn’t stop fidgeting and smiling,  it was the the time of my life.

You’d expect as much, considering the film’s overall budget, but you never expect the language to be so thoroughly developed, or the detail put into each monitor, each tree, each animal and so on.  Movies put interesting plants or animals into incoherent ecosystems,  Cameron developed plants and animals as part of a comprehensive ecosystem.  Creatures and characters usually join as the environment and setting grows, altering the world.  That doesn’t happen here.  There wasn’t a world created as a backstory, the world was created before the story even began and it’s one I never wanted to leave.

I don’t know what else to say, even though I want to say so much more. You just have to watch it.  Forget about the “blatant” motifs and symbolism, they’re not supposed to be there.  Quite simply, James Cameron pushes the movie-goer to dream, and to me, that’s all that matters.





To (not) be Jealous.

24 12 2009

Currently Listening to: Lupe Fiasco – Beaming Up

More of squeezing 3 posts worth of content in one stupid irrelevant post.  I’m writing just to type now.  It relaxes me and gets me doing something “permanent” and lasting.  Makes me feel less like of a shithead/less useless.

Lupe’s probably a little mad right now.  He probably doesn’t want this track to leak, and its probably not his fault, and somebody’s probably gonna get fired.  But this track is HOT.  Neptunes + Lupe = sure win.

I’m reading a couple of sports articles and catching up on some hip hop.  There were Cudi concerts last night and tonight and I missed both.. Apparently Kanye hit up the one that dropped on the 22nd.  I’m just fuming/angry at myself for missing it.  Seriously

We had a little get together and I was DD’ing so I didn’t do much, I was in the mood to get shitfaced a couple of days ago, but not anymore.  I hope those are signs that I’m in the process of getting over it (that’s not to say that I don’t think about it, but I dunno).  I’ll share a little about that later, but I was watching the Weezy Documentary and I can see why he dropped his support for it.  It really does puts him in a somewhat negative light in that it sort of portrays him as a overconfident/delusional prima donna that relies too much on syrup/weed.  Still, there’s something admirable about the way he does his business and focuses his spirit into his art.   I stared in awe as I watched a man filled with insecurities utilize his talent to transform and maintain himself as a revolutionary idol.  I grew to respect the man, despite the fact that his flaws became more and more apparent.  It’s a pretty strong documentary, not because of the filmmakers (I don’t think it was good in that sense) but because of the subject.  I don’t think you could have a bad Lil Wayne documentary.





To Travel the World.

22 12 2009

Currently Listening to: Blue Scholars – Coffee and Snow

I sometimes, and this may seem a bit silly, judge how inspirational artists are by how much they influence me to visit their respective cities.  For example, my senior year I really wanted to go to school in Chicago (which limited it to Northwestern) because of Kidz in the Hall, Cool Kids,  Lupe, and Kanye.  There are the obvious ones… say Jay-Z and Biggie and NYC and I already live in LA so Blu and Exile, Pac Div, etc…  worked out well.  But the two big ones are Seattle (Grynch, Blue Scholars) and Chicago.  All of these artist pay great homage to their homes in their songs.  (Joe Metro, Go Go Gadget Flow) and I always thought if I could visit those cities, live there for a bit, it would inspire me to write something that would be true to myself and what motivated me.

Nonetheless, the list keeps on growing.  Mother always used to suggest travel on break when I was younger, and if she asked now, I still wouldn’t go.. mostly because I want to go by myself and do everything by myself, maybe with a special someone or some friends, but I don’t ever see myself visiting a lot of the cities I want to go to (Paris, London, Istanbul, Beirut, Dublin, Prague, Bruges, Tokyo, Seoul, and many more) with other people.  I guess that’s why Hollywood seems so attractive, because not only will I love it, but I’ll also be able to see the world.

I’ve been reading a lot of J.D. Salinger these last 30 or so hours, mostly because he seems to deal with teenage angst, loneliness, passion, and most importantly, love… or at least the longing for love.  I was actually thrown back into it by watching Ghost in the Shell: SAC, which quotes Catcher in the Rye, and to say it fit my mood perfectly would be a huge understatement.  I started reading some short stories and re-reading Rye.  It’s actually helping a lot.  I guess I think that I’m a much better person now than I used to be, and sure I still brush people the wrong way, but to face this perception that I’m not good enough… that kind of sucks, especially when you think you’ve become so much better.  Realizing that made me a little angry, at the girl but also myself; that my optimism was misplaced in a world where optimism will only hurt me.  I don’t know how it’s changed me… still, I’m much happier and more comfortable the way I am now.  I’m looking ahead again — instead of focusing on these fantasies that have hurt me — and I seem to be a lot better (comparing the heartbroken me now to the heartbroken me of ages past).  Again, its a process, and I’ve walked this road before.





To Get Over it and Move on.

21 12 2009

Currently Listening to: Regina Spektor – Eet
Apologies in advance for all the emo-ness.  It sort of comes with the territory I’m treading.

I was hoping to catch a new episode of HIMYM tonight, if nothing but to get all these crazy thoughts out of my mind.  I always like to compare my life to the lives of Ted Mosby and Marshall Eriksen, because — for the most part — they’re the people I want to be/will be like when I grow up.  Yet their world always seem to work, and even if one’s world doesn’t another one does.  For example, when Marshall and Lily had their hiatus, life was grand for Ted, and when Ted was left at the altar, well he didn’t/couldn’t do anything about it and it disappeared after 30 minutes.  Plus to compare.. this.. to that?  Ludicrous.

That doesn’t mean I’m not driving myself insane though, and I talked to some people about it and I don’t have that many regrets.  I’m not angry, I’m not really sad… just somewhat frustrated.  I have all these memories that I sort of valued, little things that I thought were kinks and special moments that just won’t go away now, and what used to be something uplifting is now weighing me down.  I can’t close my eyes without thinking about it, and while I do focus on other things and do other things, there are these moments when it comes flooding back.

It’s not a new low, but it’s definitely a low.  STILL. It it what it is.  Gotta move on and keep on pushing.





So Close and Yet So Far.

14 12 2009

Currently Listening to: Jay-Z ft. Kid Cudi – Already Home

Sharing just because I can.  Plus, I love to share.


If ya’ll can’t already see I ain’t worried about ya’ll cause I’m already me.

The world would be a better place if everyone walked the way Cudi did when he first entered. LOL





To Enjoy the Little Pleasures in Life.

14 12 2009

Currently Listening to : B.o.B – Nothing on You (ft. Bruno Mars)

Waddup world.  I feel like you haven’t heard from me in awhile… just wanted to make sure that you knew I was alive.

A couple of things, but as a warning… this post will be introspective

I know I haven’t been blogging too much, which is sort of disastrous because of how important writing is supposed to be to me.  I do have these little intricate thoughts I’d like to get out, but I can’t seem to put them in the moleskin or out here in digital form.  It’s not like life’s been interesting, quite the opposite actually but I suppose sometimes you just forget.

It’s finals week, which means I use my time inefficiently, think about things a little too much, cut myself off from the world, and just snack like no other.  But to touch on what I’ve been thinking about,  I have some really good people in my life and hanging out with these people makes me miss the other people that have been so inspirational and pivotal in said life.  So if any TAF’ers and Plan C’ers (FM, Christina, Diana, Eric… just to name a few) are reading this, give me a call.  It would make my week.

Also, I ‘ve been crushing on this girl for MONTHS, and there are complications for why I can’t do anything about it.. (mostly because she said she doesn’t believe in relationships for freshman and I wanted to respect that, she’s an Asian freshman at CMC and there’s definitely an unwritten APAM rule against it (I put it down myself), and I’m just stupid ( mostly because I didn’t tell her/didn’t ask her out)) but its one of those things — and I do this all the time — where you keep playing silly scenarios over and over again in your head and it magically works out in your head.  Anyway,something just clicked today and being the jealous type (despite having no real relationship whatsoever), I noticed some things and just felt sick, probably about something inconsequential and stupid, and it sort of just died.  It was kind of nice… like this burden (and yes, if you’ve talked to me within the last two months you would know it was a terrible burden) was just lifted.  I feel like it’s the beginning of the end.  BUT!… knowing me, I’ll probably throw myself back into it and hate myself again.  Thank goodness break is coming.

I just ordered FIFA10 for 45 bucks (thanks Elijah), got two pairs of kicks (Black/Black/White Delta Force AC high and White Air Infiltrator Mids.. no strap), and am looking for a cheap pair of low AF1’s on ebay.  I’m spending money as if it were coming with the rain, but I really should stop.  If you see me buying something, you have the go ahead to slap me… unless I’m getting AF1’s for less than 40$.

Back to studying Psych…

The motivation for me is them telling me what I could not be…





To Keep Pushing.

26 10 2009

Currently Listening to: Wale – Letter ft. John Mayer

This song is awesome.  Seriously.  can’t stop listening to it.  Attention Deficit drops in like.. 2 weeks?  Whenever 11.10.2009 is.

To whom it may concern
I refuse to be another being on this earth
I’m breathing for a purpose
I wanna be the centerpiece of my entire culture
and I’ve been thinking ’bout you ’cause you’ve done such
by doing such, I get a pen and paper
write you a letter ’cause you are appreciated
I’m dreaming to be great while workin’ on my mistakes
you promised us change, I’m doin’ the same thing

By far the most interesting thing that happened this week was the Cool Kids visit.  They are awesome live.  They basically rocked all of Bake Sale, half of Gone Fishing, and two tracks off When Fish Ride Bicycles.. WHATTT??!  You can strike that off the bucket list.  Gotta focus on visiting Lambeau now.

On a different note:  I had one major project this fall break, and that’s Fil-I-Am, the annual benefit concert out at Pitzer College, and I basically spent 48 hours watching football and working on three different posters.  One of them just got printed on Quest Crew’s website, which is sort of nice.  I mean they have to in that there aren’t any other posters, so it doesn’t validate the quality, but its nice that the stuff is out there.

Check it out:

http://www.questcrew.com/quest-events/filiam-benefit-showcase-ft-quest-crew/

The event is on Thurs, October 29th, 2009.  Doors will open at 6:30.

click.

Perhaps there’s hope for me yet.





To Take a Step Back.

18 10 2009

Currently Listening to: Underoath – Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape

I used to love this song… well I still do, but I don’t listen to it as much as I should.

Today was one of those days where, living through it, it seemed somewhat unspectacular until you take the time to reflect on it a little bit.  It’s fall break and I’m just trying to recollect myself for a second push through first semester.  For some reason, I feel kind of sad that it’s fall break, mostly because I want to keep pushing, keep going, and carry through until the semester’s over, and this seems more like a hindrance then a welcome relief.

Anyway, woke up from about 4 hours of sleep to go to eat lunch with the extended fam.  Donald came back from HK, and it’s probably the first time I’ve seen him in about 30 months, that was pretty exciting.  Had some delicious pho.  Finished up, headed home and started watching some college football games.  UT v. OU, USC v Notre Dame, Florida v. Arkansas.  Those were three beautiful games… Headed over to Stanley’s house to Halo a little bit and then headed out to Daikokuya for RAMENN!!. I love Daiko, I’ve said this a couple of times, but if I had to choose a last meal, Daiko Ramen w/ salmon roe rice bowl might be it.  Got back to see the epic ending to Game 2 of the ALCS.  How is A-rod so clutch all of a sudden?    Headed home, chilled for a bit and then some more Halo at Stan’s.    I don’t know, it’s just good to surround yourself with good people.





To Look up in the Sky.

3 10 2009

Currently Listening to: Lupe Fiasco ft. Matthew Santos – Shining Down

Today was one of those days where you’re like, “I want to be back here again and again.”  It was one of those days that was awesome like no other.  One that you look forward to, look back upon and always wonder how much more awesome it could/’ve been.  It’s one where you have no regrets and all the regrets in the world.

A week ago, I saw that Far*East Movement was going to share the stage with Talib Kweli and Lupe Fiasco.  I almost did a double take…. LUPE FIASCO AND TALIB KWELI?  Now the guys of FM are my heroes, they really are.  They NEVER fail to impress and today was no different… Jumping off a plane to perform in front of a crowd of 6000?  That’s not easy.  But Lupe Fiasco probably saved my life.  His music picked me up when I was at my lowest in high school, he made me realize that my life isn’t really that bad, but he also made me realize how small I am in the greater scheme of things.  It didn’t mean I didn’t matter, the opposite in fact.  It just meant that I had to keep pushing.

To be fair, I feel sort of guilty.  I feel like I used FM.  Then again, this pays back a hundred fold all the work I’ve done for them.  Not that I needed any sort of reimbursement or reward.  They are the coolest of the cool and the best of the best.

On to the day at hand.  I woke up early, at like 9:20 just giddy.  I was jumping up and down, breathing just to relax, and trying to get some nerves out.  I ate an egg, it was pretty delicious.  at 10:30, Diana came over and we drove over to Cal State Northridge.  Nothing serious, we got there, parked, waited for FM to get there and then it sort of hit me.. WE GOT ALL ACCESS PASSES.  I could go ANYWHERE.  I could go backstage WHENEVER I WANT.  It was just sort of a surreal moment.  we set up the merch booth and just hung out for a bit, sold a bit of stuff (FM needs to get their name out more. I was really surprised at how many people knew Girls on the Dancefloor but NOT FM) and ate some Don Chow’s.  It was decently delicious but kind of sloppy.  FM got on, did their thing, a good amount of people in the crowd got really into it.  They stepped off and then Kev gave Diana the call where they were leaving and we didn’t have to do merch anymore.  Awesome.

That meant we would be able to stay backstage the rest of the afternoon and watch Talib and Lupe.  To be honest, I was tired at that point and didn’t really want to wait for Talib AND Lupe.. I was contemplating leaving, or at least leaving for a little bit and then coming back for Lupe.. BUT THEN WE FOUND OUT THAT LUPE WAS COMING ON FIRST!.  I just sat there for about 10 minutes.  It was the most exciting 10 minutes of my ENTIRE LIFE.  My mind was just racing. holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit lupe is coming lupe is coming lupe is coming. wow wow wow wow.  I’m going to see him walk by in about 3 minutes.  I was literally a fan boy at heart.  I controlled myself by NOT wearing my Lupe t-shirt and NOT bring my camera.   And then he came on, in this like tan jacket and jeans and this awesome Jack Purcell’s.  I  nudged Diana and was like, “that’s him in the tan.”  He met some people, gave some hugs and got ready by himself, silent prayer, gathering thoughts, and got on stage.  First song was a Justice mix of “The Instrumental”.. I sort was just star struck after that.. I think there was another song before he went into a freestyle of a Ice Cube track?  I can’t remember what it was, and then ran with “Run this Town”  It was awesome.  like AWESOME. AND THEN IT WAS “CRS’s EVERYBODY NOSE”.  ALL THE GIRLS STANDING IN THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOOOMMMM.

I’m doing this off memory for the rest but it went a little like.  “Hip Hop Saved My Life”  I mean its my favorite song of all time.  ALL TIME.  “Go Go Gadget Flow”, “I Gotcha”, “Little Weapon”  “Streets on Fire”, “Kick Push” and then…. “SHINING DOWNNNNN!”  awesome live. no auto tune, which makes it better. Celebrated by singing happy birthday to Talib Kweli and then finished off solid with “DAYDREAMIN’”  Solid drum solo at the end where he got the crowd all into it and shit.  It was awesome.  HE. WAS. RIGHT. THERE.

“Peace and much love to ya”, and he was gone, walking back to his tent and peacing out.   I’ve never been so star-struck in my life.  It was the most awesome day of my life.  Seriously just. wow.  That really just happened.  I wasn’t dreaming.

One of the only pics we took, couldn't be that big of a fan boy in front of some VIP's.

One of the only pics we took, couldn't be that big of a fan boy in front of some VIP's.