That it was one of those Weekends.

Currently Listening to: Far*East Movement – 2 is Better

It was just one of those weekends.  Got to hang out with a couple of frien ds from SM.. grabbed some delicious food, played a lot of Halo.. Last weekend with Calvin, Leo, Mike, Jeff, Stanley, Harrison, Eddy, and others… Nice to see Chris, hang out with him for a couple of hours and stuff.  Awesome to hang out with TAF crew.. see Hochie, Christina, Jon, and meet new people.  It was just one of those weekends that you’re sad it had to end, and you can’t write much about it because it’s something personal.. y’know?

To Recap the Fast & Furious Workshop on Racism

Currently Listening to: Fabolous ft. Jeremiah – It’s My Time

NOTE: This post is written for the TAF blog as a recap for the Fast and Furious workshop.  See the post here.

I’m re-posting this because I wanted to give credit to where credit is due.  Shout outs to: Ann Wu, Justin Yang, Jon Lee, Christina Chou, Kevin Yau, and Hochie Tsai for making this workshop possible.  I might be forgetting some people, especially from TAFMedia who might have done some things for this.

—

You always have to be careful when you talk about race because you don’t want to understate it to a point where it becomes seemingly insignificant.  But you also don’t want to overstate it to the point where you radicalize, dichotomize, or otherize  your audience.  Therefore, to maintain that balance in this year’s JH program, Ann Wu, Justin Yang, and myself focused on three major goals in our Fast and Furious workshop about race: understanding stereotypes,  breaking down social barriers, and reaffirming the campers’ self-identity.

With stereotypes, we wanted the campers to discuss moments in their lives where they’ve been stereotyped, but we also wanted them to understand that they consciously or subconsciously use stereotype themselves.  We began by having the campers list Asian American or Taiwanese American stereotypes in their small group, and then compiling it into a big list for everyone to see.  By having a tangible list, it allowed small groups to confront stereotyping and personal experiences with stereotypes more easily. Bringing it full circle, we also wanted the JH campers to acknowledge that while they were victims of stereotyping, they also stereotyped as well.

To do that, we showed pictures of men like Josef Mengele, Nelson Mandela, MIA, and others and let each camper shout out what their first impression of each person was.  After we showed all the pictures, we would reveal who each person is and what they had done.  Each person would have a list of accomplishments opposite of what their stereotype was.  For example, one picture we used was that  of General John L. Dewitt.  Imagine a stoic general in full uniform and the adjectives associated with that picture.  The campers responded to that picture with words like “honorable”, “patriotic”, “proud”, and “general” only to find out later that General Dewitt was a huge proponent and organizer of Japanese Internment in World War II, his famous quote being “A Jap is a Jap, whether or not he is an American Citizen.”  Not very patriotic or honorable at all.

To break down social barriers, we showed a video compiled by Jon Lee, Christina Chou, Ho Chie Tsai, Justin Yang, and myself of famous Asian/Taiwanese Americans in the entertainment industry.  We compiled a list of questions about stereotyping and social barriers for Musician Dawen Wang, Hip Hop Group Far*East Movement, Producer Karen Lin, Actor/Writer/Producer Will Tiao, and the writers of Asian American focused comic book Secret Identities.

In a “Post-Obama” world, many people think that all the social barriers for women or racial minorities have been torn down.  Even the campers have the same impression as many of the JH students in my small group thought that social progress for many Taiwanese Americans was “good” or at least “getting better.”  However, while these speakers in the video are Asian American pioneers and leaders in the entertainment industry, many of the campers admitted that they didn’t know any of these entertainers.  Asian American representation in the media is still heavily based on stereotypes and that shows that, if anything,  America has a misconception about race relations in our modern world.  The recent arrest of Professor Henry Louis Gates and the backlash that followed reveals that perfectly.  We wanted to make sure that our campers realized some of these barriers still exist, and that there is still much room for progress and growth.

Finally there’s identity reaffirmation.  We wanted to make sure that the campers saw themselves as Asian or Taiwanese American, but only in a smaller scope of their greater identity.  Many times I’ve seen people radicalize or otherize their experience as Asian Americans and ostracize themselves from the greater community.  It was important that they understand that they are more than an Asian American boy or girl.  While we all share cultural backgrounds, each individual has a different path and a different identity that is beyond race, gender, socioeconomics, and so on.  It is critical for us to embrace our culture or heritage, but only in terms of our greater autonomous identity.

All of the counselors came away with the experience feeling confident about the JH campers ability to comprehend some of the issues.  Other issues, we realized, would be better resolved by time than by discourse.  Overall, we were amazed by the maturity of the JH campers in discussing such issues; I know for a fact that I was not thinking or talking about such issues at such a level at their age.

However, the discussion doesn’t stop there.  The pursuit for great social equality is an ever-evolving process that melds with a greater society.  To keep up with that, I recommend TAFers read and educate themselves as much as possible.  Blogs are a great medium for people of all ages to do just that.  A couple recommendations:  Angryasianman is a blog that updates its readers on the most recent news in the greater Asian American community.  Disgrasian is a social commentary blog by two ladies who post about things from politics to fashion.  Slant Eye for the Round Eye is a blog focused on but not specific to Asian America and its role in the media.  8asians is a community blog where a handful of Asian Americans (including myself) from all different backgrounds and places that post about anything and everything pertaining to Asia America.  And finally, for an open discussion on greater issues of race, one should visit Racialicious.

To watch District 9

Currently Listening to: India Arie ft. Akon – I Am Not My Hair

I was hooked onto the movie the minute I realized that the bus bench I see everytime I commute was an advertisement for a movie… produced by Peter Jackson.  That’s all it took.  It’s viral marketing at its best.  The websites are more innovative and inspired than the ones that were sprung for The Dark Knight (which was amazing).  Still, the selling point for every movie is that movie is/will be a critical and commercial hit, simply because it couples a sizable amount of action with great character development.

–spoilers start here and will run throughout the post–

District 9 is, at its most fundamental level, a movie about race (more specifically apartheid), human rights, and the social effects of otherization and dehumanization.  It also touches briefly on the issue of PMC’s and philosophies on the War on Terror and torture.  It’s also an action movie, filled with inherent plot holes and questions that can only (hopefully) be answered by the sequel.  I want to address all of these issues, but I’m going to jump back and forth, and it might seem incoherent and rambling: a warning.

Onto the task at hand.  I’m surprised that Racialicious hasn’t touched on the subject, probably because the social criticism is so open and blatant throughout the movie.  It’s clearly a movie about Apartheid; it’s set in South Africa.. the name “District 9″ is a play off “District 6“, the living conditions and perhaps the hopelessness of many of the ‘prawns’ reflects that of ‘non-whites’ during the Apartheid era.

It does beg a couple of questions.  If the ‘prawns’ are so repressed, why was there never any talk of a violent uprising, when they seem to have the weapons and numbers to do so?  To speculate, the actions of the ‘prawns’ seem somewhat irrational and therefore they aren’t conscientious or repressed enough to revolt.  For one, they have their catfood, albeit at exorbitant prices, and for the most part, live in an arguably manageable world.  It could be that, as hypothesized in the movie, that without leadership the “worker” prawns live in a State of Nature, and therefore do not care about ‘prawn’ well being as a whole but simply individualistic well being.   It still doesn’t explain why ‘prawns’ TRADE weapons for food instead of USE weapons for food, unless of course they’re pacifists or, due to some ‘prawn’ caste system, cannot use the weapons.

Still, plot holes only reflect that the movie is an action film, and almost all action films have major plot holes.

Another issue with the film, and this is not a personal criticism but more one from the NYPress’ Armond White, is that it is an inadequate portrayal of Apartheid history.  I don’t know enough about the history to say if this is an adequate analysis, but an interesting one nonetheless.

It does bring into question a greater criticism I have with the social message of  the film.  For one, the movie puts the ‘prawns’, the metaphor for racial minorities, into a state of social limbo.  They are lower than humans but higher than animals.  At one point during the UMC tests on Wikus, he states that he does not want to fire on a ‘prawn’ and instead will shoot another pig or cow.  That puts the ‘prawns’ at a social status above our standard animals, probably because on some level humans understand that they are a rational and intelligent species; how else do you explain the ‘prawn’ technology, which is far superior to that of humans?  The problem then is how they justify the vicious treatment of the ‘prawns’, and therfore “racial minorities”.  They simply otherize them.

It digs deeper.  The leading UMC mercenary, who is killed at the very end by various ‘prawns’ is more the monster than say Christopher Johnson is.  Therefore the non-humans are actually more human than the humans themselves, in that there is no registered act of brutality or evil by any of the ‘prawns’.  Torture is conducted by the humans.  Humans experimented with weapons on ‘prawns’, not the other way around.  Humans are the ones that are committing executions.  The evolution of Wikus goes from human to ‘prawn’, and his understanding of the world is better.  He is the hero, and he becomes more of a hero as he becomes more ‘prawn’.  Christopher Johnson is the only character throughout the movie with no lapse in judgment or vices, CJ Jr doesn’t have any as well (but its childhood innocence).  Christopher, after seeing the effects of experiments, doesn’t claim to seek revenge for his people, but simply to save them.  It’s a role reversal.  Those the humans dehumanize are actually the good to the humans’ evil, and the animalistic ‘prawns’ while vicious, simply seek to survive not to commit evil.

What Blomkamp and Jackson could have been doing is just showing how tragic the process of otherization and dehumanization is.  Therefore the film is inherently an argument against such a process… and it touches on various hot topics, specifically that of torture, terrorism, crime, and gun control. I hear arguments all the time that “criminals deserve to be punished because they committed some atrocious crime” or that “Jews deserve to die because they killed my family” or that “we can torture all Arabs because the sacrifice of some is worth it for the protection of many”.   You see the problem with this mentality within the movie;  after Christopher Johnson leaves, many people speculate that he will return and wage war against the humans.  Why?  Because they know that war is justifiable.  Wouldn’t you want revenge if you were in the ‘prawns’ shoes?  Instead of attacking the source of crime (and therefore not criminals) or terrorism (and therefore not terrorists), American society does dehumanize and otherize individuals.  For the sake of time and length, I don’t want to get to into it, but How To Win a Cosmic War by Reza Aslan addresses the issue more thoroughly and I advise people to at least skim it.

Anyway, I’m going to rant a little and vent.  This topic reminded me of criminal justice and gun control in that I recently read an article, shared onto facebook by a conservative out at Berkeley (that narrows it down).  I’m really tempted to share his name and the link just to show how stupid his argument is, but I refrain.  It basically tries to justify gun control for protection (fair), but the people I were debating with went on to say that the dehumanization of criminals and terrorists is justified because they committed atrocious acts.  As if torture and capital punishment aren’t atrocious acts within themselves.  I would get into more, but I don’t want to bash people.

Essentially, I think the movie does both  a really good and a really poor job in its portrayal of dehumanization and its effects.  I say that because, simply, the ‘prawns’ aren’t human, and it might even justify, to some people, why we should dehumanize.  This really is a motif that I can see easily fly over people’s heads, despite it being so “in your face.”

One last thing.  PMC’s are bad.  I could write more about why this is so, but I don’t want to make this any longer.  Maybe another time.

To teach a bunch and to learn a whole bunch more.

Currently Listening to: 許茹芸 – 一有爱就走吧

This is part two (probably of a two part, potentially three part) of my TAF appreciation.  The first one was dedicated to JH  staff and can be located here.

It’s weird because I can’t tell what TAF did to change me.  I just know I changed.  Maybe I’ve become less goal orientated, and now am just more focused on the experience.  I used to think my goals were just and legit and that I had to achieve them, ignoring everything else around me.  I take that back;  I still do think they’re legit.  Now, I just think how I reach those goals is more important.  I also know that I’m more “bipartisan?” or introspective now;  I can better understand where people are coming from and why they do things.  At least I think I do.  I also realize that TAF will only carry me so far, because the world around me is already trying to pull me down.  TAF really is a magical world where you fly up to a beautiful castle in the sky.

I was tempted to start by saying that people at TAF all put up a facade of happiness and joy.  But the more I think about, the more authentic these people are.  We are a victim to our environment and TAF just happens to let us be ourselves.  Too many times I’m drawn into Social Contract theory or watching the world corrode itself away that I forget that human nature, at its very core, is and always will be good.  Okay so there are exceptions, but I mean they’re rare.  TAF doesn’t force people to put on a mask, it allows them to take off the mask the world forces on them.  That’s why I’m eternally grateful.

–

I am thoroughly amazed by each and every JH camper who sat through TAF this year.  As a counselor one is supposed to teach, guide, and… well… babysit these kids for a week but none of that was truly necessary.  They all understood complex and intangible ideas perfectly; not only that they remembered it after the week was over.  It’s one thing to understand something, but to remember it and keep it within your personal values as a junior high student?  That’s a whole different story.  Their maturity and comprehension for tough topics was astonishing, not to mention that they were willing to listen and understood the tone of each moment perfectly.  I could take that and say that I/we are bomb counselors, but I honestly don’t think that’s the case.  I truly believe that these kids are extremely talented and special.

I promised the Turkey Subs an epic note and letter, but I’ve run it through a couple times in my head and written out a few rough drafts (that’s why it’s taken so long) and they all seem underwhelming.  Instead I think I’ll just do what I did for the JH staff and write blatantly and openly from the heart.

This might be a little long, so do me a favor and do a little smurf dance before you read.  Thanks :]

CINCO

Ada – I have so many bruises on my shins right now, its not even funny.  That’s just intolerable cruelty.  First, I’d like to say that you better come back next year.  If you don’t my shins will heal and there won’t be anyone to hurt them, which is unacceptable.  I’d like to think that you had at least a little fun?  (at least it seemed like you had a lot of fun!)  I mean I don’t see why anyone WOULDN’T want to come back right?  At the very least, I’ll always be here if you need someone to talk to or want to vent or something.  Okay, so maybe sometimes I only ACT like I’m listening, but for you I’ll make an exception.

You absorb everything around you like a sponge, and nothing leaks.  I think Roger and all the counselors threw things at all the campers one after another  and you never budged.  Some people spaced out or lost focus, but never you.  Plus you always do it with a smile on your face… sometimes I worry that you or Ellery aren’t having fun because its your first year and an experience like TAF could be kind of intimidating, but you just flash that smile and everything seems okay… I guess that’s why I was super surprised when you said you might not want to come back next year.

The moral of the story is simple. Come back next year.  If you don’t I will be thoroughly disappointed.  Okay? Okay.  come back. Okay.

Kevin – Waddup Kev.  It’s the same as the first day man, I still dig your name.  We might have different views on certain things, but its awesome that we connected on so many things.  If your parents ever tell you not to play video games or read less mangas, tell them that video games or drawing is your passion and drive.  I think your art and creativity will take you places that I can only dream of going to.  You already have your influences, your motivations, and your talent… now all it takes is practice and practice and practice.  Never lose that drive and never lose that passion.

When we had our first small group meeting, I was really worried that you were being forced here by your parents and that you weren’t having fun.  As time grew and I got to know you a little better, I was more confident and comfortable in thinking that you wanted to be at TAF and that it was a good fit for you.  It was awesome to see you grow over a short week and I can’t wait to see how much you’ve grown over the next 51 weeks.

Dorothy – OH HEY ERIN FROM HAWAII?  WHAT’S UP?  I hear Hawaii is super nice nowadays… I should totally visit you and your sister there some time.  It’d be super fun!  In all seriousness, there are so many things I wish we could’ve talked about.  I know sitting in small group that sometimes you just wanted to let something off your shoulders or let something all out and I would turn away and really wouldn’t let you.  I was kind of selfish and I wanted to touch on other topics but you handled it really maturely.  That’s what amazes me about you; your spiritual and emotional maturity and depth.  I think you go through a lot and deal with it in ways I didn’t even think feasible when I was your age.

But I mean that’s not it.  You love to have fun, you’re easy to get along with, and it just been an experience hanging out with you.  Even if you do sometimes flirt with the line of offensive and funny (those california jokes were hurtful).  Rah rah rah.  Stay cool.  Stay good to your friends (and your sister… I didn’t know you two were related until like.. that last sunday.)

Willy – WILLY WILLLY WILLY willy WILLLYYYY willy?  WILLY? WiLlLY!!1!! YEAH WILLY!  *does the willy dance*  WHATS GOOD DEL MAR?  Hope you’re soaking up the sun and getting ready for school.  You are awesome in every single way.  From that tuxedo shirt to your crazy little antics, it just an experience within itself hanging out with you, and just hanging out with you made going to TAF worth it.  You were the young’un in our group but you got along with everyone so well.  At times I hoped that you would talk and participate a little more, but I mean you are so freaking young!  Still, you know when to sit and listen, you respect others when they speak, and you never zone off or complain when we’re sitting in small groups.  That speaks a lot about you and your maturity.  Plus, you’re quite the ladies man, and that makes me proud little man.

Tiffany – I’m sort of blanking out, but when did you land?  Did you land on saturday and hang out with the staff?  If so, I think I techincally spent more time with you than anyone at TAF except for Karen (who I rode to Manchester College with, and hung out with at the terminal).  You’re a tough one, because sometimes I felt like you were more watching and observing; which is totally awesome, but I never really got to truly talk with you.  You’re defintely the most mature one in our group though (I think that’s a compliment, its supposed to be one) and you really understand everything Roger and the counselors throw at you.  I dig how you made a conscious effort to hang out with us though (say at meals, or during free time), it was pretty fantastic to have you around when we were forced into our little small groups.  You always seemed to answer questions when others were hesitant to and really shared.  It made our jobs as counselors easier, because we all hate awkward silences, or making you guys answer with awkward silences.  We wanted it to be natural, smooth, and flowing, which you helped do.  It is SO AWESOME for a facilitator or counselor or advisor to just have someone in that group.  You were that person. THANKS FOR THAT!

Reggie – If you had facebook, you’d see that you are the focal point of my profile pic right now.  That’s how awesome you are.  I have no idea how that represents how awesome you are, I just really like the picture.  But you’re bombdiggitytastic.  It’s just been a blast hanging out with you during TAF.  You absorb everything like a sponge and then throw it right back at Jessica and me.  We just go like, YES! WE HAVE A CAMPER WHO UNDERSTANDS WHAT ROGER AND WE ARE TALKING ABOUT! Plus, you’re just fun to have around.  I WANTED to eat all my meals with you Josh and Willy.  When I had to go eat with other people, it was just like “Oh wow, this kind of sucks right now.”  I just remember all those salted mountain dews and salads, and then screaming at the Jello, that was pretty bomb.  Reg, you just bring a such a big and uplifting spirit into our small group and all of our lives.  Keep on  having fun.  Keep on pushing.  Just remember to take off the bags that might be weighing you down… and always do it for yourself (without being selfish of course) and I know everything will turn out okay.  YOU. ARE. AWESOME.

Ellery – So I know I owe you a 17 page thing, but we’re going have to put that on hiatus.  More because I think the longest paper I’ve ever written was 17 pages and that thing took like 2 weeks to research and write, but also because I don’t know how to measure 17 pages while blogging.  Seventeen.  What funny number/word to say.  Just say it out loud right now.  Seventeen.  SEVEN. TEEN. SEVENTEEN. sev-en-teen. teenseven. seventeen. 7teen.  neetneves.  (<— LOL NEETNEVES!) oneseven. I think i wrote seventeen seventeen times.  Nope not yet, two more.  Like seventeen minus fifteen.  SEVENTEEN.  Okay i’m done.

Oh why, hello Ellery.  I remember first seeing your name and telling Jessica how I thought we had the most awesome camper because it rhymed with celery.  We were right on both parts.  You brought a really unique vision and insight into our small group.  I think you grew up in a different environment then a lot of us (it seems like you have a really stable family, which is a great, great thing.  Hold on to that) so you had a really positive outlook on life.  I really dig that.  I love ‘glass half full’ people who love to have fun, can always smile, make friends quickly, and fit right in.  It sort of helps that you and Colleena are two peas in a pod, and I loved that you had kept your friends super close and brought new friends into your circle.  I dunno what else.  I had seventeen pages planned, but what keeps popping back is just seeing you having so much fun during swing choir.  Whether it was practicing or just teaching some of the moves to some of the boys.  It was something you were really good at and you seemed to really enjoy it.  It’s been awesome getting to know you and hanging out with you.  Let’s just say we’re at 12 pages, and that we have 5 + however many for next year.  Until then!

Turkey subs. Yeah, we're that delicious. and nutritious.

To wrap it all up just a couple of shout outs.  Bob Lin and HoChie for being awesome.  Dave Chiou for making it possible for me to come.  Justin for introducing me to TAF.   John D. for your advice on our walk to the final dance.  Steve and Grace for your advice on that first Sunday night.  Karen for just being so easy to talk to during our ride to the airport and sitting in the terminal.  Christina Chou for being cool like the other side of the pillow.  Jon Lee for being too cool for school.  Godwin for the props on our revenge prank (I don’t think you know me though. hah)  Ming and Emily for keeping on top of sib letters and just being awesome people to work with.  That handshake was seriously underappreciated by the campers.  It was Michael Phelps status.  Andrew Lo for showing just how dedicated I should be to TAF.  What you did with exams and all is just admirable.  Connie for getting me out of dancing and having those deep convos.  Andrew Kuo for being the first person I talked to at Manchester.  TAFmedia for just chronicling everything and connecting with everyone.  TO ALL THE JH KIDS.  I have some particulars, you guys all gave me some unique memory but I’m doing this on the top of my head and can’t really remember.  Jennifer, because now I will remember your name.   Angela Shiue because you rock bomb sweaters that are 3x too big for you.  Andrew for being bomb at soccer.  Raymond for being the only who guessed right for when we were introducing staff with the two clues.  Eric for being awesome at guitar.  Jesse for being so sexy in Project Tafway.  Josh for being too big for a sixth/seventh grader.  Jarrell for that moment in the beginning during swing choir.  Colleena for making sure I remember who you are in my yearbook, and your entire suite for making ramen with bathtub water. gross.  Mitchell for that awesome catch on the football field.  Justin and Jeff for really participating during the Parent JH dialogue, they were good questions and I hope you guys manage to deal with your parents.  ALL THE JH KIDS.

I probably forgot a lot of people. sorry.

To rock some tunes for my Tafblues.

Currently Listening to: Radiohead ft. Lupe Fiasco – Reckon A Superstar

I find myself listening to a lot of Priscilla Ahn, Colin Munroe (only to think about Ms. Emma Watson when I do), Eminem’s Soldier (and only that song), Youth Group’s Forever Young, and Dispatch’s Two Coins.

Just thought I’d share.

To just sit back and watch the world spin.

Currently Listening to: Dispatch – Two Coins

I’m still really fatigued.  I used to be able to stay up to five or six and just bust out posts or read or watch some tv but I was watching some Daily Show to catch up and listening to some BS Reports and just all of a sudden crashed at like 2.  I woke up this morning at 7 and found my light was still on and that my glasses were just lying there.

I’m working on another post for TAF but I wanted to cover yesterday really quickly, because it encompasses a lot of what is great about the opportunities presented in front of me and how I ought to take greater advantages of such opportunities.

I guess I’ll start by saying that I have some pretty awesome friends.  They’re going to go places and do great things, but they seem really complacent about their world and what they want to see.  For example, it could be going to a show or even a Dodgers game but because it is outside the norm they tend to stay away from it.  I don’t only go to things or attend places I think I will enjoy.  I go to it hoping that I will enjoy it and then save judgment for after it.  I don’t think I’ve ever regretted a decision I’ve made going out to LA to watch a show or hang out at some random place.  Even if I don’t like something, it’s always been a great bonding opportunity.  It’s just been great sitting back and watching the world. You learn so much.

So this year, I’ve been to the Annenberg Space of Photography to see the Photo of the Year exhibit.  It was awesome just hanging out with Helen, Hanna, and Rebecca.  I’ve also headed into “The Party” with Lauren and her family, meeting Jane Lui and Phil Yu (AngryAsianMan) which was awesome.  A TN KAT event last night with Jon Lee and Christina Chou (which was really spur of the moment, I didn’t even think about going until last minute), but its TN KAT and it should always be pretty awesome.

Sure, I love heading into these little exhibits and shows, but just getting time to hang out with some of these people is rewarding within itself.

btw.  I forgot how awesome Daiko was/is.  or Plan C for that fact.

To just live and love life.

Currently Listening to: Michael Jackson – I’ll Be There

You know something is special when, in reflection, you forget about yourself and what you were like before that certain experience.  Instead, all you feel is a unique, wondrous, and sad hole (a combination of happiness and sadness) that is strangely filling and wonderfully rewarding.  It’s rare to be given an opportunity to teach so much, learn even more, and to have that much fun while doing it.  Personally, I think I came at a perfect time, where my shell had just collapsed around me and I was willing to accept myself and better myself and my community.  If I had been introduced to TAF ten years before, or even just a year before I don’t think I would have appreciated it as much as I do now.

Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect.  I had just met some random guy through a twitter reply via Angryasianman and this stranger told me I should sign up to be a counselor to this program called TAF.  Through research, it seemed to have deeply political roots (to be frank, dear reader, I want nothing to do with Taiwanese politics, mostly because it seems petty and corrupt, but also because I don’t want to get dragged between my family and friends) but was branched off enough that it seemed freely apolitical, asocial, and”a-religious”.  Still, to pay to work your ass off and be a counselor just didn’t seem that appealing.  After running through the price of everything and tickets, I didn’t really want to come.. 900$ for a week?  Please.  What attracted me at first was just working with Asian American kids, branching out and developing their identity for a better community.  I talk to so many college students who grew up apathetic about social issues that I just didn’t want that to happen to those who could still do something about it.

Then came the first skype meeting.  The camaraderie and connection everyone had was just amazing.  I didn’t get to speak to everyone (via chat) in a one on one basis, but those who I did get to speak to came at me with arms wide open and embraced me even though I was truly an outcast in every sense of the word.  That’s what changed it for me.  That’s what made me put in everything I could and muster every ounce of emotion I had throughout the week.  It was the JH staff that took me in before the week even began, embraced me during that week, and kept on holding when the week was over.  The JH staff is one of the most, if not the most, amazing group of people I’ve ever met.  This one’s for you.

This is, for the most part, in no particular order… some of this might be in your yearbooks?  I don’t quite remember.  If I didn’t sign your yearbook (and you wanted me to), thousand apologies.  There might be some grammar mistakes cause I’m just running through this with heart more than mind.

Juliana - You’re just one of those people you know?  Despite all the…. gassy? things you do?  Everyone just loves you because you have such a catchy and embracing personality.  When you were sharing personal stories, or just talking to us or some of the campers, I could totally relate to some of the things you said… especially about family and parents… and it just made me more comfortable sharing my own stories or being more open with some of the campers.  It was probably because of our shared “boarding school” experience.You always lead by example and it just motivated me to do so much more.  It’s been great bonding with you and getting to know you and good luck at school in a couple of months!    PS. Sorry that Jessica and I and all those campers ditched you that one night at dinner… you didn’t deserve that.

Howard - Juliana might do some gross things?  But the stuff you put inside your mouth sometimes is just… ugh.  But I think it fits your personality perfectly.  You always love to have fun, you’d do anything for those you care about, and it just catches on with all the campers.. young and old.. and all the staff.  I was AMAZED that you were willing to give so much to me before we even met.  Without your help I probably wouldn’t have showed up at TAF this year and I can’t thank you enough for that.  You just have this aura around you that just seems to settle and calm everyone.. and that makes you wonderful to have around.  We might be running around trying to finish things on time and making sure everything runs smoothly and you’d just speak and we’d take a step back and focus and get the job done.  Thanks for all your help and guidance!

Awesome PD's. Awesome Peoples.

Ann – That racism workshop was awesome.  You rounded out that slideshow to PERFECTION.  It’s beyond words.  The greatest memory I have with you is when we were both back early from the final dance to do something for the kids and we talked about just how magical TAF was.  Popping open that bag of chips and salsa and just talking.  That was a really really nice moment.  Good luck with your piano and music at KU next semester.  If you’re truly passionate about it, everything will work out because you are definitely as deserving, if not more deserving than your peers.   After seeing you do all the things you do at TAF, I have all the confidence in your talent and abilities.  BEST OF LUCK! :]

Ji - my brother.  you have such an open heart and you’re so willing to do so much for both the staff and the campers.   Your motivation seeps out of you and it’s just been awesome being able to hang out with you and watch you do so much for all the kids.  We we’re both sort of add-ons at the last minute and it’s awesome how you embraced TAF so easily and so thoroughly, and amazing how quickly you bonded with the staff.  I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have been able to do it if I came in a day after the rest of the staff did, but you did it flawlessly.  I’m truly sorry that I didn’t get the time to pick your brain on a couple more things.  Keep in touch, you’re in a position to do great things at Wisconsin… best of luck with that!

Angie - My fondest memory of you was just on the first sunday, when you woke up at five and just started decorating in the halls.  It just brought back when you first started talking about TAF with me online.  You seemed so excited and so passionate about TAF… it really was a selling point to me.  Talking to you on facebook just made me want to be a part of TAF and it really pushed me over my hill of hesitancy.   You’re a huge part of why I showed up this year and I don’t regret a single minute of it.  Thanks SOOO much for making it so easy to be incorporated into a group of people with so much history!

Mark – You remind me of this roommate I had in boarding school because he did Chinese Yo-Yo and glowsticks/string or whatever and was really good at it.  He also rode a unicycle around to class… you don’t happen to too do you?  He was kind of strange, but you… you’re very, very cool.  You’re just filled with raw energy and you’re GREAT with kids.  Everytime I see you, some juniors are always hanging around your arms or you’re running around trying to help everyone, and you’re always doing it with this HUGE smile on your face. You have a knack for making people laugh and smile and your energy just rubs off on other people.  It was awesome getting to know you and good luck with your junior year!

Jess  J.- My only regret in reflection is that I never really got to talk to you.. like at all.  I was in the terminal waiting for my flight and all of sudden it dawned on me that I never really got to know Jess and we’ve been like hanging out for the entire week! I feel like you have a super great personality, that you’re really willing to help people and for some reason we just never found the time to truly talk, even amongst a group of people.  It’s actually really really weird now that I think about it.  BUT! from the little time I spent with you, I know you really care about everyone at TAF and that you put in that extra effort to do a lot of work but also know to have a lot more fun and that is AWESOME.  If anything, not embracing that opportunity to know you better just gives me an incentive to come back next year (YAY!) and we’ll definitely hang out more then.  :]

Jeff – To be honest, we always talk about you behind your back.  We always say just how great of a person you are and how you connect with so many people on a such a deep level.  I’d like to think we all do the same, but honestly we weren’t able to reach any of the campers the way you did with Raymond or Kenny and some of the others.  It was really humbling to hear some of the things you said to me but honestly, you do so many great things that I can only dream of.  Quite simply, you care.  You care about individuals all the time.  We also care about individuals, but not the way you do because sometime we address the collective of JH.  You are always thinking about them, as individuals, and you truly care for them.  It is funny that I always seem to wake up to your alarms and you fail to wake up even when I start yelling your name…  THANKS THOUGH, and sorry I couldn’t do more on that level (I’m really not a morning person)

Liz- RAH RAH RAH! I can’t tell if you dig the “mom” moniker (I think you do..) but there is something super maternal about you.  I mean just look at what you did with Choir.  You did wonders when we were all too tired or too lazy to help you.  You were willing to spend so much time on the music to make sure it was perfect… and it turned out perfect because we were clearly the best choir out there and it really was all you.  I know I said the same thing about Howard, but you also have a similar aura around you of calm and relaxation.  Whenever you say a word it just soothes… it allows me to clear my mind and just think.  I hope you figure out your rooming situation.  If not, you could always come to Cali and rock a room at home/in the dorm.   Until next year!

Frankie – You have such a kind and soft spoken soul.   You’re willing to put yourself out there, even if it means potentially getting hurt or harmed.  This might not be the best example, but when you were first out there playing with Jasmine and Melody.. despite the fact that you clearly had a super long night and were really tired, you just stuck with it.  It speaks a lot about you and all that you represent.  It allows you to connect to so many people on such a personal level and that’s super admirable.  In the words of the guys of Wongfu, you’re the nice guy with shoulders to lean on that everyone should and will like.  You should really come out to LA.  I think you’d really get a kick out of it!  Until then, keep on doing what you’re doing because I honestly think you change people for the better just by being around them.

Chelsea – My fellow Socal counselor!  You were also one of the people who embraced me with open arms before we even met/another motivating factor as to why I HAD to go to TAF.  You’re a brilliant person and you did wonders with swing choir (we honestly had the best one out there… even “Tribute” doesn’t compare… sorry Youth guys.)  Pure energy, compassion, brilliance and heart… a room just shines when you enter.  I know you’re dealing with a lot of personal struggles (if you need someone to talk to! I’m here :]) but it didnt seem to affect you at all… you always have a smile on your face and you’re always caring about others.  I will definitely try to head down to SD this year to hang (probably for Sungod or some other concert like Fallfest).  Stay cool.

Lawrence – You are one cool cat. Like cool like the other side of the pillow.  that kind of cat. yeah.  I think 10 years from now, when everyone is looking back on TAF, all the campers will remember the tutting for swing choir.  That’s you (and Chelsea?) right there.   I think for a lot of things, we seem to just understand each other.. you know?  Like for some of the jokes or things some other people do, only the two of us will laugh at it?  I’m not sure that’s necessarily a good thing because I’m kind of strange, but it’s certainly an awesome thing.  This ‘connection’ could totally be off base too.. in my own little world kind of thing.   But I dunno what JH would have done without you this year.  Things like swing choir, the sports workshop, or some of the things that just made certain things run (like gladiators, jousting, and the water fight stuff) would’ve just been bland or like.. non-existant.  It was super awesome to get to know you and get to hang out with you.  Stay cool. Stay classy.

btw. the people I know at WashU are Lung, Andrew Larson and Patrick Chan.  Sharon Sun is xfering from USC to Wash U next year… keep an eye for that as well.

Tiffany – Oh hey friend! You are my like awkward high five/fist bump buddy from now on.  We have the turkey, the rocket ship, the snail, and my personal fave… the KOALA! YEAHHHH.  You’re super funny, super easy to hang out with and it was awesome to get to know you this year.  You were the first person I saw at TAF (save Karen) and probably one of the last and you know, the minute you said hi and introduced yourself, all the butterflies just went away.  I felt a billion times more comfortable sitting there in Helman.  During the week, I would sometimes go into super strict mode for some reason, and you would just talk or stare me out of it (I don’t know if you noticed that, but I did) and it just reminded me that everyone here is here to have fun and I shouldn’t be a party pooper.  Quite simply, you’re super duper.

Justin – Brother.  I wouldn’t even be close to writing this if it weren’t for you.  You single handedly made this experience for me.   None of this would have happened if you hadn’t given me the heads up about TAF.  I hated Twitter too, I thought it was the beginning of the end of social interaction.  Who would’ve thought it would be the spark to one of the greatest social experiences I’ve ever had.  The work we did on that racism workshop was nothing like anything I’ve ever done before.  I can’t believe you pulled off that video.  You are wise and mature beyond your years and I’m just amazed by everything you do.  When we were doing the cube test of Howard’s, I noticed that yours and mine were really similar and it made me realize that I could bond with you on the smallest things because we do think alike on many topics.  Truly a kindred spirit and I am eternally grateful for everything you’ve done for me.  Best of luck at Columbia next year, you don’t need it at all, but man you’re going to do some super amazing things.  I can see it already, you’re truly special.

Jessica – OH YO CO. WADDUP?  You made “Cinco” awesome.  You made “five dollar foot long turkey subs” existent.  You were the white to my black, the good to my bad, the yin to my yang.  I don’t know what I would’ve done without you this last week.  You were my rock, my foundation, my anchor, and my light.  I would totally be out there and run out of control without you and that small group would have been disastrous.  You pushed me to do so much more than I thought I could do, and every single moment of it was super-rewarding.

I know I could be sort of intimidating, weird, mean, and crazy.  Okay.  Really mean.  But I do intend for it to be harmless fun.  I should come with a disclaimer…. too much exposure leads one to be a victim of sass and rudeness.  I made waaayy too many dumb and pointless jokes at your expense.  I could see, so many times, your frustration in me and it just made me self-reflect (maybe they weren’t the best sessions of self reflection, considering I didn’t stop being so mean, but you know, I self-reflected!).  You never said a word, you never complained, and you just sat through it.  I mean sure, maybe I could use a slap in the face once in awhile, but the fact that you didn’t break and actually put up with me is just amazing.  You quite seriously have infinite patience. Whether its dealing with Willy (who is CRAZY, I don’t know how we survived) or some of the other campers in our small group(you know.. that one.) or me? Wow. Quite seriously a super hero.

I think my favorite moment at TAF throughout the entire week was just sitting there out there with you while they watched Minority Report.  Talking with Ada, Joyce, Jesslyn, Jessica, and Kristi while we were working on those letters.  Those were seriously the funnest things I’ve ever written, and you were a HUGE part of it.  Weird right?  Maybe it was just listening to the thunder or the rain.  Maybe it’s because it was a time where I was able to sit back and relax and take a break just to be fun.  But I know for sure that if I were there writing all that by myself, it would just be boring, plain, and forgettable.

I think we connect on a lot of things.  We laugh at a lot of the same stupid jokes.  We both think the environment is our friend [HEY YA'LL.  GO TRAYLESS GOSHDARNIT!] (you might take it more seriously than I do though).  We both have the potential to write really neatly but don’t.  (Our letters were quite seriously scrawls sometimes, I’m surprised the turkey sub-bers understood what we wrote).  I don’t know what point I’m making.  It’s just been awesome working with you and I can only hope you learned a fraction of the amount I’ve learned from you this last week.  Stay AWESOME and good luck with your freshman year at Wisconsin.  Do great things, save our world.  You are one awesome person with a great personality (one can’t help but be happy when you smile/laugh, its literally contagious).  Until next summer/next time we meet!

TAF'09 JH Staff (sans Ji). Possibly the greatest group of people I've ever worked with.

I’d like to think that I’m a writer with a decent vocabulary, but there’s just so much I can’t put into words.  You guys will always have a place to stay in California, just give the word and I’d love to have all of you here… I LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS! and… make sure that when you drink water, that it’s always clean and protected :]  Stay safe…do great things… and until next year