Currently Listening to: Michael Jackson – I’ll Be There
You know something is special when, in reflection, you forget about yourself and what you were like before that certain experience. Instead, all you feel is a unique, wondrous, and sad hole (a combination of happiness and sadness) that is strangely filling and wonderfully rewarding. It’s rare to be given an opportunity to teach so much, learn even more, and to have that much fun while doing it. Personally, I think I came at a perfect time, where my shell had just collapsed around me and I was willing to accept myself and better myself and my community. If I had been introduced to TAF ten years before, or even just a year before I don’t think I would have appreciated it as much as I do now.
Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect. I had just met some random guy through a twitter reply via Angryasianman and this stranger told me I should sign up to be a counselor to this program called TAF. Through research, it seemed to have deeply political roots (to be frank, dear reader, I want nothing to do with Taiwanese politics, mostly because it seems petty and corrupt, but also because I don’t want to get dragged between my family and friends) but was branched off enough that it seemed freely apolitical, asocial, and”a-religious”. Still, to pay to work your ass off and be a counselor just didn’t seem that appealing. After running through the price of everything and tickets, I didn’t really want to come.. 900$ for a week? Please. What attracted me at first was just working with Asian American kids, branching out and developing their identity for a better community. I talk to so many college students who grew up apathetic about social issues that I just didn’t want that to happen to those who could still do something about it.
Then came the first skype meeting. The camaraderie and connection everyone had was just amazing. I didn’t get to speak to everyone (via chat) in a one on one basis, but those who I did get to speak to came at me with arms wide open and embraced me even though I was truly an outcast in every sense of the word. That’s what changed it for me. That’s what made me put in everything I could and muster every ounce of emotion I had throughout the week. It was the JH staff that took me in before the week even began, embraced me during that week, and kept on holding when the week was over. The JH staff is one of the most, if not the most, amazing group of people I’ve ever met. This one’s for you.
This is, for the most part, in no particular order… some of this might be in your yearbooks? I don’t quite remember. If I didn’t sign your yearbook (and you wanted me to), thousand apologies. There might be some grammar mistakes cause I’m just running through this with heart more than mind.
Juliana - You’re just one of those people you know? Despite all the…. gassy? things you do? Everyone just loves you because you have such a catchy and embracing personality. When you were sharing personal stories, or just talking to us or some of the campers, I could totally relate to some of the things you said… especially about family and parents… and it just made me more comfortable sharing my own stories or being more open with some of the campers. It was probably because of our shared “boarding school” experience.You always lead by example and it just motivated me to do so much more. It’s been great bonding with you and getting to know you and good luck at school in a couple of months! PS. Sorry that Jessica and I and all those campers ditched you that one night at dinner… you didn’t deserve that.
Howard - Juliana might do some gross things? But the stuff you put inside your mouth sometimes is just… ugh. But I think it fits your personality perfectly. You always love to have fun, you’d do anything for those you care about, and it just catches on with all the campers.. young and old.. and all the staff. I was AMAZED that you were willing to give so much to me before we even met. Without your help I probably wouldn’t have showed up at TAF this year and I can’t thank you enough for that. You just have this aura around you that just seems to settle and calm everyone.. and that makes you wonderful to have around. We might be running around trying to finish things on time and making sure everything runs smoothly and you’d just speak and we’d take a step back and focus and get the job done. Thanks for all your help and guidance!
Awesome PD's. Awesome Peoples.
Ann – That racism workshop was awesome. You rounded out that slideshow to PERFECTION. It’s beyond words. The greatest memory I have with you is when we were both back early from the final dance to do something for the kids and we talked about just how magical TAF was. Popping open that bag of chips and salsa and just talking. That was a really really nice moment. Good luck with your piano and music at KU next semester. If you’re truly passionate about it, everything will work out because you are definitely as deserving, if not more deserving than your peers. After seeing you do all the things you do at TAF, I have all the confidence in your talent and abilities. BEST OF LUCK! :]
Ji - my brother. you have such an open heart and you’re so willing to do so much for both the staff and the campers. Your motivation seeps out of you and it’s just been awesome being able to hang out with you and watch you do so much for all the kids. We we’re both sort of add-ons at the last minute and it’s awesome how you embraced TAF so easily and so thoroughly, and amazing how quickly you bonded with the staff. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have been able to do it if I came in a day after the rest of the staff did, but you did it flawlessly. I’m truly sorry that I didn’t get the time to pick your brain on a couple more things. Keep in touch, you’re in a position to do great things at Wisconsin… best of luck with that!
Angie - My fondest memory of you was just on the first sunday, when you woke up at five and just started decorating in the halls. It just brought back when you first started talking about TAF with me online. You seemed so excited and so passionate about TAF… it really was a selling point to me. Talking to you on facebook just made me want to be a part of TAF and it really pushed me over my hill of hesitancy. You’re a huge part of why I showed up this year and I don’t regret a single minute of it. Thanks SOOO much for making it so easy to be incorporated into a group of people with so much history!
Mark – You remind me of this roommate I had in boarding school because he did Chinese Yo-Yo and glowsticks/string or whatever and was really good at it. He also rode a unicycle around to class… you don’t happen to too do you? He was kind of strange, but you… you’re very, very cool. You’re just filled with raw energy and you’re GREAT with kids. Everytime I see you, some juniors are always hanging around your arms or you’re running around trying to help everyone, and you’re always doing it with this HUGE smile on your face. You have a knack for making people laugh and smile and your energy just rubs off on other people. It was awesome getting to know you and good luck with your junior year!
Jess J.- My only regret in reflection is that I never really got to talk to you.. like at all. I was in the terminal waiting for my flight and all of sudden it dawned on me that I never really got to know Jess and we’ve been like hanging out for the entire week! I feel like you have a super great personality, that you’re really willing to help people and for some reason we just never found the time to truly talk, even amongst a group of people. It’s actually really really weird now that I think about it. BUT! from the little time I spent with you, I know you really care about everyone at TAF and that you put in that extra effort to do a lot of work but also know to have a lot more fun and that is AWESOME. If anything, not embracing that opportunity to know you better just gives me an incentive to come back next year (YAY!) and we’ll definitely hang out more then. :]
Jeff – To be honest, we always talk about you behind your back. We always say just how great of a person you are and how you connect with so many people on a such a deep level. I’d like to think we all do the same, but honestly we weren’t able to reach any of the campers the way you did with Raymond or Kenny and some of the others. It was really humbling to hear some of the things you said to me but honestly, you do so many great things that I can only dream of. Quite simply, you care. You care about individuals all the time. We also care about individuals, but not the way you do because sometime we address the collective of JH. You are always thinking about them, as individuals, and you truly care for them. It is funny that I always seem to wake up to your alarms and you fail to wake up even when I start yelling your name… THANKS THOUGH, and sorry I couldn’t do more on that level (I’m really not a morning person)
Liz- RAH RAH RAH! I can’t tell if you dig the “mom” moniker (I think you do..) but there is something super maternal about you. I mean just look at what you did with Choir. You did wonders when we were all too tired or too lazy to help you. You were willing to spend so much time on the music to make sure it was perfect… and it turned out perfect because we were clearly the best choir out there and it really was all you. I know I said the same thing about Howard, but you also have a similar aura around you of calm and relaxation. Whenever you say a word it just soothes… it allows me to clear my mind and just think. I hope you figure out your rooming situation. If not, you could always come to Cali and rock a room at home/in the dorm. 
Until next year!
Frankie – You have such a kind and soft spoken soul. You’re willing to put yourself out there, even if it means potentially getting hurt or harmed. This might not be the best example, but when you were first out there playing with Jasmine and Melody.. despite the fact that you clearly had a super long night and were really tired, you just stuck with it. It speaks a lot about you and all that you represent. It allows you to connect to so many people on such a personal level and that’s super admirable. In the words of the guys of Wongfu, you’re the nice guy with shoulders to lean on that everyone should and will like. You should really come out to LA. I think you’d really get a kick out of it! Until then, keep on doing what you’re doing because I honestly think you change people for the better just by being around them.
Chelsea – My fellow Socal counselor! You were also one of the people who embraced me with open arms before we even met/another motivating factor as to why I HAD to go to TAF. You’re a brilliant person and you did wonders with swing choir (we honestly had the best one out there… even “Tribute” doesn’t compare… sorry Youth guys.) Pure energy, compassion, brilliance and heart… a room just shines when you enter. I know you’re dealing with a lot of personal struggles (if you need someone to talk to! I’m here :]) but it didnt seem to affect you at all… you always have a smile on your face and you’re always caring about others. I will definitely try to head down to SD this year to hang (probably for Sungod or some other concert like Fallfest). Stay cool.
Lawrence – You are one cool cat. Like cool like the other side of the pillow. that kind of cat. yeah. I think 10 years from now, when everyone is looking back on TAF, all the campers will remember the tutting for swing choir. That’s you (and Chelsea?) right there. I think for a lot of things, we seem to just understand each other.. you know? Like for some of the jokes or things some other people do, only the two of us will laugh at it? I’m not sure that’s necessarily a good thing because I’m kind of strange, but it’s certainly an awesome thing. This ‘connection’ could totally be off base too.. in my own little world kind of thing. But I dunno what JH would have done without you this year. Things like swing choir, the sports workshop, or some of the things that just made certain things run (like gladiators, jousting, and the water fight stuff) would’ve just been bland or like.. non-existant. It was super awesome to get to know you and get to hang out with you. Stay cool. Stay classy.
btw. the people I know at WashU are Lung, Andrew Larson and Patrick Chan. Sharon Sun is xfering from USC to Wash U next year… keep an eye for that as well.
Tiffany – Oh hey friend! You are my like awkward high five/fist bump buddy from now on. We have the turkey, the rocket ship, the snail, and my personal fave… the KOALA! YEAHHHH. You’re super funny, super easy to hang out with and it was awesome to get to know you this year. You were the first person I saw at TAF (save Karen) and probably one of the last and you know, the minute you said hi and introduced yourself, all the butterflies just went away. I felt a billion times more comfortable sitting there in Helman. During the week, I would sometimes go into super strict mode for some reason, and you would just talk or stare me out of it (I don’t know if you noticed that, but I did) and it just reminded me that everyone here is here to have fun and I shouldn’t be a party pooper. Quite simply, you’re super duper.
Justin – Brother. I wouldn’t even be close to writing this if it weren’t for you. You single handedly made this experience for me. None of this would have happened if you hadn’t given me the heads up about TAF. I hated Twitter too, I thought it was the beginning of the end of social interaction. Who would’ve thought it would be the spark to one of the greatest social experiences I’ve ever had. The work we did on that racism workshop was nothing like anything I’ve ever done before. I can’t believe you pulled off that video. You are wise and mature beyond your years and I’m just amazed by everything you do. When we were doing the cube test of Howard’s, I noticed that yours and mine were really similar and it made me realize that I could bond with you on the smallest things because we do think alike on many topics. Truly a kindred spirit and I am eternally grateful for everything you’ve done for me. Best of luck at Columbia next year, you don’t need it at all, but man you’re going to do some super amazing things. I can see it already, you’re truly special.
Jessica – OH YO CO. WADDUP? You made “Cinco” awesome. You made “five dollar foot long turkey subs” existent. You were the white to my black, the good to my bad, the yin to my yang. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you this last week. You were my rock, my foundation, my anchor, and my light. I would totally be out there and run out of control without you and that small group would have been disastrous. You pushed me to do so much more than I thought I could do, and every single moment of it was super-rewarding.
I know I could be sort of intimidating, weird, mean, and crazy. Okay. Really mean. But I do intend for it to be harmless fun. I should come with a disclaimer…. too much exposure leads one to be a victim of sass and rudeness. I made waaayy too many dumb and pointless jokes at your expense. I could see, so many times, your frustration in me and it just made me self-reflect (maybe they weren’t the best sessions of self reflection, considering I didn’t stop being so mean, but you know, I self-reflected!). You never said a word, you never complained, and you just sat through it. I mean sure, maybe I could use a slap in the face once in awhile, but the fact that you didn’t break and actually put up with me is just amazing. You quite seriously have infinite patience. Whether its dealing with Willy (who is CRAZY, I don’t know how we survived) or some of the other campers in our small group(you know.. that one.) or me? Wow. Quite seriously a super hero.
I think my favorite moment at TAF throughout the entire week was just sitting there out there with you while they watched Minority Report. Talking with Ada, Joyce, Jesslyn, Jessica, and Kristi while we were working on those letters. Those were seriously the funnest things I’ve ever written, and you were a HUGE part of it. Weird right? Maybe it was just listening to the thunder or the rain. Maybe it’s because it was a time where I was able to sit back and relax and take a break just to be fun. But I know for sure that if I were there writing all that by myself, it would just be boring, plain, and forgettable.
I think we connect on a lot of things. We laugh at a lot of the same stupid jokes. We both think the environment is our friend [HEY YA'LL. GO TRAYLESS GOSHDARNIT!] (you might take it more seriously than I do though). We both have the potential to write really neatly but don’t. (Our letters were quite seriously scrawls sometimes, I’m surprised the turkey sub-bers understood what we wrote). I don’t know what point I’m making. It’s just been awesome working with you and I can only hope you learned a fraction of the amount I’ve learned from you this last week. Stay AWESOME and good luck with your freshman year at Wisconsin. Do great things, save our world. You are one awesome person with a great personality (one can’t help but be happy when you smile/laugh, its literally contagious). Until next summer/next time we meet!
TAF'09 JH Staff (sans Ji). Possibly the greatest group of people I've ever worked with.
I’d like to think that I’m a writer with a decent vocabulary, but there’s just so much I can’t put into words. You guys will always have a place to stay in California, just give the word and I’d love to have all of you here… I LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS! and… make sure that when you drink water, that it’s always clean and protected :] Stay safe…do great things… and until next year
. It was just great to talk to her though. Got a lot of feelings to sort out. Something about me and my priorities and .. ‘friends’ I should keep. etc. Its kind of an awesome feeling, but it also kind of sucks.